This is going to be a post that is near and dear to my heart. For about three years of my 20s I tried diligently to master the art of online dating. I tried every website from Match.com to eHarmony to Plenty of Fish (POF) to OKCupid. One of the better “dating” apps and websites was OKCupid as the interface was superior on the smartphone and there was actually a large contingent of females on the website/app. So, here is what I learned when it comes to getting a date on OKCupid.
The first thing you must understand is that everyone is different when it comes to their usage of this app. Some people check it once an hour, some once a day and some just once a month. Try not to get caught up in the time it takes a user to respond. If you sit and analyze this you are doomed from the start. I tried to send personal messages to as many girls as I could that fit my liking. In fact, I sent messages to some of those that didn’t fit my liking just to see how they would respond.
Just a heads up guys, females love to be complimented. Feel free to mention how beautiful their eyes are or how much you love their hair. The more personal the better. A great strategy it so ask why type of dress or shoes they are wearing. If you are really good you can ask where they got it and if they shop at other similar stores. That is another article for another time.
Once you have received a response from a female it is very important to not be overbearing. If you are constantly down their throat you have no chance of seeing this female in real life. Try to be talkative but not overbearing. Also, make sure you spell words correctly. Do not use the wrong “to”. Do not immediately jump into the sexy talk. Have a normal conversation just like you would if you happened to bump into someone at the grocery store or a restaurant. I can promise you that the size of your package is not going to impress her with the second OKCupid message.
After having some stimulating conversation back and forth, at least a dozen or so messages, it is a wise decision to start asking questions related to their favorite places to eat or a place in which they like to get away. You don’t have to ask them out but you need to get an idea of what they like. You may use a backdoor method of just asking their favorite type of food. After you have this discussion do not ask them out. You must wait!
Continue on with another conversation over a few days and then casually drop a hint that you want to go out. Something that worked well for me was mentioned I was free on Thursday evening and I would love to grab a cup of coffee or a quick bite. Do not commit to anything that is more than 30 minutes. In fact, I would limit it to 15 minutes. Let her know that you have some time but not a lot of time. You do not want to commit yourself to a two hour date because you have never met this person. She could be a complete psycho and may not look anything like her OKCupid pictures.
Here is another hint guys, women love a man that is busy. If you are available Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night she is going to lose interest quickly. Let it be known that you have from 7:00 to 7:15 available on Thursday night but that is the only time you have open. You have other things going on the rest of the week. If she is unable to meet you at this time maybe you can slide her into your schedule sometime next week or two weeks out. Do not become easy for her!
I know it sounds like a game, but it truly is a game. The less available you are the more she will want to spend time with you. Think of it this way, if your best friend wanted to go out to eat and he is always available what is your urgency? Now, what if Jessica Biel is available to grab a coffee for five minutes? Which one would you jump at quicker? Think of your OKCupid dating adventure in this exact same way.
I literally have hundreds of dating tips when it comes to different types of females. I will try to write a few more in the future. If you have any questions please feel free to post them below and I will answer them in the form of a blog post. Now, get out there, send some messages to females on OKCupid, do not be overbearing and go on some dates!