5 years ago, I sat on my couch watching an MTV “True Life” episode called “True Life I’m a Sugar Baby.” Not knowing what a sugar baby was, the first guesses that came to mind were: Is this the name of some local rock band? Isn’t that what they call infant squirrels?
I swiftly realized that these guesses were way off base. However, in this case, I think my naivety signaled normalcy. A sugar baby is a slang term for a male or a female who is financially pampered and cared for by a ‘sugar daddy’ or ‘sugar mama’ in exchange for companionship. Conceptually, I think we should all be thankful that the notion of a sugar baby is obscure. If this was a staple of society, there would problems. This is because the term ‘companionship’ generally means sexual favors.
So when an article was published in the Daily Tar Heel titled “Sugar baby work offsets college costs,” I clicked on the link knowing exactly what I was getting into this time. Having been exposed to the idea of a sugar baby before, while many readers found themselves shocked that this even existed, I found myself wanting to know more.
The first thing that prompted me to look further into Sugar daddies/babies was the sheer number of students who had profiles on seekingarrangements.com, the facilitating website for sugar daddy/baby relationships. Carolina (UNC) currently has 427 students registered as sugar babies. Sure that is a very small percentage of the student body, but that figure was eye opening for me for a few reasons.
The first reason I was shocked by this statistic was because I was honestly under the impression that a sugar daddy/baby relationship was almost fictional. I used to do research for a TV show similar to MTV’s True Life. My job was to dig up odd situations from the randomest corners of America that would make for good TV. I didn’t think sugar daddies/babies actually existed all over the country, much less in my very own hometown! Which leads me to my next observation: having both grown up and gone to college in Chapel Hill, who in the world are the local men signing up as sugar daddies? The website is designed for aliases and secrecy, so are some of the hundreds of “sugar daddies” perhaps people I know? Dad’s of friends? The guy that works at the local pizza place?
Many learn about the sugar daddy/baby relationship and tailspin into victimized women and modern prostitution. I wanted to look into this differently. Who in the world are these men?
My interest naturally took me to seekingarrangement.com, where I started browsing the profiles of the local men. Many, interestingly enough, remained picture-less. I still wonder who would be smart enough to get into Carolina and dumb enough to meet up with a pictureless man from this website. This question remains unanswered.
Every sugar daddy profile provided the man’s: alias name; age, height, location, ethnicity, income, net worth, expectation, and a brief personal statement. The net worth of many of these men were definitely not credible. They seemed to post a somewhat honest income- most around $100-300,000, but they would then proclaim their net worth to be around $1-10,000,000. My math skills are questionable, and even I can figure out the unlikelihood of these net worth’s.
Each sugar daddy had the opportunity to express what he was looking for. Here are some examples of the types of descriptions posted:
1. Selective49 is a semi-retired and former business owner in Greensboro with a net worth of $2 million (this one is believable). Here is what he had to say:
Seeking an attractive, intelligent, sexy, shapely, caring, healthy, mature, passionate and classy lady for a quality uncomplicated arrangement. A satisfying and mutually beneficial arrangement with me could have a variety of possibilities from occasional times together to a regular basis. Jeans to black dresses…Travel and other activities such as sporting events, concerts and weekend getaways are on my list of desired shared experiences with a very compatible and appreciative companion. The level of the assistance is certainly negotiable for me.
2. New and Fun had a different set of expectations. He is 38 and works in finance.
I’m really hoping to find someone for an ongoing relationship that isn’t running around with every guy on here.
New and fun, I think you have a better shot at finding a real girlfriend on Tinder.
3. Big Daddy took a slightly more forward approach. He is 46 and works in the RTP. His tagline is “Big Daddy Wants You Naked.” You have to give the guy credit- he isn’t wasting any time. His descriptions fit most with what I have learned about sugar daddy/baby relationships so far.
Big Daddy is looking for an extremely sexy girl looking to be well taken of financially. In return, sexy girl needs to keep Big Daddy HAPPY! Long term girl, monthly allowance, frequent visits, travel, meals.
4. Dax3212 fits into what I feel is the worst type of sugar daddy. His relationship status is “married but looking.” Dax3212 also felt the need to make his photo a snapshot of his 6-pack, which for a 38 year old, isn’t bad. But I still spotted an extra 7 pounds or so that definitely needed to go. Dax3212 clearly does not have confidence issues, as is evident from his bio.
I am a 37-year-old executive with my own company. I am very active and workout frequently, and I think you will find me more attractive than the typical “Sugar Daddy” on this site.I am flexible with arrangements but am only seeking attractive, in shape ladies that can respect my need for discretion and are fun-loving and willing to travel on occasion.
5. Finally, we get to the question marks of our society- JayWhy is a perfect example. JayWhy is a 45-year-old attorney whose tagline is “I like to be watched for $$$.” His description is-
I am looking for 3-4 female friends . I love to watch and be watched. If more develops from that, then great, but that’s where I’d like to start.
Can someone tell me what he means by “be watched?” On the scale of fetishes, I guess this one seems sort of harmless. Then again, I am not really sure what this man is alluding to- sir will you pay me $300 an hour to sit and eat popcorn with 2 friends as we “watch” you? Well, he piqued my curiosity I suppose.
Ultimately, no part of me condones being a sugar daddy or baby. No matter how desperate a student is for money, I think there will always be a better solution. This being said, the conversations surrounding these arrangements typically focus on topics like women’s rights, modern prostitution, increasing tuition bills, etc.
I wanted to take a look into the men seeking this arrangement out. Who are they, how do they present themselves, what do these girls see when they make the decision to enter into a sugar baby arrangement? All in all, no matter what you are looking for from a sugar daddy, seekingarrangements.com has someone to fit the bill.